What I’ve been watching….

Ugh. A chest infection has knocked me for six over the past few weeks (can’t remember what a good night’s sleep was) which is why I’ve been so tardy regards posting anything on here of late (what, so nobody noticed, I hear? Bah humbug, lol). Well, there was that, and Claire monopolising the television for two weeks of tennis (the French Open) with the spectre of the Wimbledon fortnight looming ahead. 

Well, I have indeed still been watching stuff when given chance, so in lieu of proper reviews here’s a few notes:

Meg 2: The Trench (2023): Just blame Under Paris, and the curious fact that like buses, two giant shark movies seem to have come around at once. I know, I know, life is too short (even with a rotten cold) to be wasting time with dross such as this, and be assured it really is dross. I had very low expectations having already suffered through the first film a few years ago but this managed to sink lower than I had feared. It really is a blatantly cynical cash grab with an eye always on the Chinese market that proved so lucrative last time (hence Asian characters being shoe-horned in). About the best I can say of it is that watching this makes Underwater, something of a guilty pleasure of mine, seem even better than I thought it was, and James Cameron’s The Abyss which I had the good fortune to revisit on 4K a little while ago, seem like one of the best films ever made. Meg 2 is utter drivel and woefully tiresome, actually had me sympathising for poor Jason Statham by the midpoint.

Dark Matter (2024): This Apple TV series is nearing the end of its first season -I’m seven episodes in- and its been pretty damn wonderful, one of the best sci-fi shows I’ve seen in years. Starring Joel Edgerton and Jennifer Connelly, its got great acting, writing, direction, music, the whole deal; its much, much better than I’d expected- its premise of a multiverse and characters experiencing alternate realities is one that has been mined often of late, most recently in the tiresome Constellation (which has been cancelled to the surprise of nobody, surely) and of course in so many recent Marvel films that I, er, haven’t watched. Probably the best example of this sort of thing was the brilliant series Fringe, and Dark Matter is right up there. The only thing worrying me, is that I get the impression this would work like gangbusters as a one-off series with a beginning, middle, and an end, and I’m getting worried that they are going to spring a cliffhanger and leave things open for a second season. That may already have been confirmed, but I’ve been steering clear of any spoilers or reviews or news about this show. Its been airing weekly and we’ve been greatly enjoying it like we used to enjoy  ‘event’ television back in the good old days, albeit as this is on Apple TV I’ve been singing its praises to people who have never even heard of it, let alone will likely ever see it.  Streaming, eh? Shame, it would be so cool on a 4K disc set someday with commentary tracks etc.

Fahrenheit 451 (2018): oh, by all that’s Holy, what dark horror was this? On a particularly bad night feeling terribly ill, I retreated downstairs at 3 a.m. to set up another Lemsip drink and put on the telly while the kettle boiled. Just about to start was this awfully ill-judged adaptation of Ray Bradbury’s classic tale. I love Ray Bradbury’s work, I treasure his short stories and in particular his The Martian Chronicles, so I resent it hugely when his work is not being given the respect it deserves, and boy, is Fahrenheit 451 not being given the respect it deserves here. There’s an obvious reason why I had never heard of this HBO adaptation featuring Michael B. Jordan and Michael Shannon, in that the universe was trying to spare me the pain. In my fevered illness it probably seemed even stranger and uglier than it really was but I eventually bailed on it after twenty minutes or so of its nauseating horror (that sound you hear was either Bradbury turning in his grave or me racing to the loo). Clearly this is a film in which the creatives had their own agenda swamping the subject matter and little interest in the original story.

Robot Dreams (2023): Absolutely charming animated film by Pablo Berger that is part thrilling, part hilarious, part heart-breaking… and always a reminder of how great children’s films can be. There is such a depth and subtle complexity  in this film,  a film that sure, works for adults but, boy, must likely be  life-changing for some children, especially the ones feeling a bit lonely and shy. Its an utter gem of a film,  just all sorts of perfect. Maybe its a little too long and could trim about ten minutes, but other than that, its a wonderful, brilliant film.

Obsession (1949): A tense British-noir horror, this is one of those films that I cannot fathom the how or why of having never seen or heard of it before, but hey, thank goodness for Indicator with this very fine Blu-ray. Directed by Edward Dmytryk (Crossfire, The Sniper, Murder My Sweet) this Hitchcockian thriller is an absolute hoot. Was Robert Newton any better than he is here, an absolutely brilliant, surprisingly restrained performance that suggest heights he perhaps never reached elsewhere? Basically, its a thriller in which a cuckolded husband (Newton) upon learning his young wife is having yet another affair, this time with an American (Phil Brown- Uncle Ben in Star Wars!), decides that enough is enough, scheming the perfect murder. What follows has plenty of twists and turns and turns out to be a solid, well-acted, well-directed and often gorgeously-shot film, an absolute treat with some touches of lovely dark humour. Its so exciting that I can still make discoveries like this.

The Crow (1994): Well from the discovery of a ‘new’ old film, to rewatching an old favourite. This film is difficult to be objective about, considering how the real-life tragedy both informs and intensifies the melancholy narrative within the film itself… well its impossible to judge the film on its own merit, at this point, after all these years. One thing is for sure, it has surely never looked better than it does on this new 4K edition- a great argument for how the format can revitalise and enrich older… well, I say older, its from 1994, a film I saw at the cinema and hardly seems an old film, but hey, maybe I’m fooling myself as it IS thirty years, after all.  Anyway, its no doubt a flawed film but it looks great, the cast is great, the old-school miniatures and effects have that charm… and the music score is sublime. And its got that wonderful line summing up all British summers… “it can’t rain all the time.”  

Godzilla Minus One: I’m Speechless!

Godzilla Minus One (2023), Dir. Takashi Yamazaki, 124 mins, Netflix

Brilliant. Utterly brilliant.

I’m lost for words, really. Okay, it may not have been absolutely perfect but it was as near as damn it. I’m loathe to bring the budget into this – a film should be great regardless of how much it did or didn’t cost – but at a purported equivalent of  $15 million (you can’t make a House of the Dragon episode -or most Disney Star Wars tv episodes- for that) this film compares so favourably with most Hollywood blockbusters that cost upwards of $200 million its a huge, cautionary lesson for those creatives Stateside. Indeed, I’d be suggesting some of those Hollywood producers start looking for some other line of work, because if I was on the board of one of the major studios I’d be getting some accountants involved to look at where all the money is going.  Hollywood couldn’t SELL one of its blockbusters for $15 million; you could make several films equivalent of  Godzilla Minus One for the marketing budget of one Hollywood movie (and possibly a streaming series on Netflix or Amazon etc). I’m reminded of Gareth Edward’s The Creator, another film with a lot of bang for its buck (and the one film I thought was unlucky not to win the visual effects Oscar that Godzilla Minus One took away).

Regardless of its sense of scale and genuine ambition, I’d definitely commend Godzilla Minus One most of all for its excellent script. Its got a great story, great characterisation, real drama, some actual twists, its a complete package – the kind of blockbuster summer movie we used to see quite often before Hollywood lost its way, somewhat. Even my wife, no great fan of these giant monster movies, was swept away by it.

Just genuinely great fun. Bravo.

Can we have more?

Under Paris: Planet of the Sharks

Under Paris (Sous la Seine), 2024, Dir. Xavier Gens, 101 mins, Netflix

I can only imagine that the quality of recent film-making, certainly as far as summer popcorn movies is concerned, has fallen off a cliff so badly of late that viewers are somehow championing this film as a great entertainment and comparing it positively with Jaws.  “One of the best shark movies ever made” gushes one, “new shark movie Under Paris can rival Jaws“ claims another, “new shark movie that’s being called 10/10″ trumpets another. Utter nonsense.  Maybe film criticism has thrown itself over the cliff rushing after those blockbuster debacles. People actually praise this tosh? Maybe its an indication of the decline of Western Civilization.

Sophia (Berenice Bejo) is a marine scientist whose team is tracking a shark near Hawaii; having tagged the shark as an infant (naming her Lilith) a few years prior, they are puzzled by the huge size of the adult shark and their investigation turns to tragedy when the shark turns on the scientists, slaughtering four of the team and leaving Sophia badly injured. Yep, a tragedy to haunt our heroine and set her on a trail for redemption three years later when she’s working in Paris and discovers that Lilith is now hunting in the Seine (I know what you’re thinking Sophia, of all the rivers in all the world, why does it have to be this one? ), just when Paris is about to host the 2024 World Triathlon Championships on the Seine.  Sophia reluctantly joins forces with Adil (Nassim Lyes) of the French police’s River Brigade and discovers that Lilith is a newly-evolved super shark that has bred a nursery of dozens of other super sharks threatening not just Paris, but civilization itself if these finned horrors get out into open ocean.

Under Paris is silly nonsense that reverts to too many clichés and tropes in a script that just gets sillier and lazier by the minute, quickly bordering on parody and then finally shifting into an apocalyptic End of the World movie from out of absolutely nowhere. From the mayor ignoring warnings of a killer shark, to the shark leaving a trail of bright yellow buoys in its wake, there’s all sorts of nods to Spielberg’s classic film that are likely intended to put a smile on viewer’s faces but instead induce groans of pain. Characterisation is the very definition of paper-thin and its environmental message pretty confusing, not helped by the most irritating and insufferable eco-warriors I think I’ve ever seen in a movie.  Sharks don’t hurt people, they cry, we have to save Lilith!  Don’t these young idiots watch the news? Or old Spielberg movies?

Okay, its only a shark movie… leave your brain in the other room…. I know, the usual arguments to excuse rubbish like this. In a city of millions and one of the busiest major tourist centres/rivers in the world, nobody seems to have noticed a giant shark swimming up and down or feeding on unfortunate locals? The authorities organise a World Triathlon Championship in a river lined with enough explosive old war ordinance to destroy every bridge and trigger a tsunami big enough to flood  the city? I don’t think I’ve been quite so insulted since I watched the last bare-brained Netflix flick on a wasted Saturday night. Funniest line of the night was at the end when one character asked of the other “Is it over?” and the credits mercifully came up in answer.

I think Under Paris is the best recent argument outside of Disney Star Wars to sack all human screenwriters and give AI a chance. It can’t be any worse, surely?

Trenque Lauquen: A test of patience

Trenque Lauquen (2022), Dir. Laura Citarella,  135 & 139 mins, Blu-Ray

There’s a missing woman, two men searching for her in the town of Trenque Lauquen; she got obsessed by a strangers romantic, almost pornographic, letters, hidden in various library books from decades before. Something odd, maybe even supernatural, has been discovered at the lake, and she knows it is hidden in an attic. One of the two men looking for her is hiding a secret from the other. 

There’s a lot to enjoy in Laura Citarella’s Trenque Lauquen, but there’s a lot to frustrate, too. Is it brave or self-indulgent, confounding or engrossing? For my part, I’m caught somewhere in-between. I thought the central mystery was fascinating and don’t even mind that it is left open-ended (regards whatever happened to the the woman who disappeared) but I have to wonder – is taking over four hours to get there, as well as revealing two further mysteries neither of which get really explained or resolved either, simply taking things too far?  Is a pact made with its audience being broken when NOTHING is explained? I don’t know- I was aware from early word about this film that its mysteries would not necessarily be solved, so that didn’t surprise me, but I have to confess I still found it irritating.  David Lynch’s Mullholland Drive is pretty obtuse, but it makes sense if the viewer works at it enough. I’m not certain if, however hard the viewer tries, this film can ever make sense.  I’m not sure its meant to.

Maybe people don’t mind mysteries unsolved. Maybe people find such things enthralling, like some endless challenge; what did the X-Files say… the Truth is Out There? But maybe it isn’t; maybe its a con, the clues don’t mean anything at all. Which raises the suspicion, are the film-makers making fools of their audience? 

Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe its a case of enjoying the journey, not the destination.  I mean, there’s plenty to enjoy, The cast is terrific, I didn’t at all mind the slow pace, self-indulgent as it may be, and I appreciated the cinematography, the sense of time and place.  There’s some wonderful film-making here, but to what end?

Maybe the real point of this film, at least what I took from it, is that we are all transitory; the world remains. The streets, the fields, the sky above, but we… we come into the world, we spend awhile in it, and then we’re gone. And maybe that’s the mystery?  We aren’t supposed to know who the lovers were, or what happened to them or why, or what the strange creature was, that was found in the lake, where it came from, or where it went, or indeed what happened to Laura, where she went, or why. There’s some things we can never know. The people that stand next to you at a bus stop, or walking down the aisle in the supermarket… you can never know them, the how or the why, where they came from or where they will end up. Mysteries are everywhere. But does it need a four hour plus film in two parts,  spread over two nights leaving tantalising mysteries hanging in an unravelling narrative, to tell us this?

Twin Peaks: The Return was over sixteen hours, so maybe Trenque Lauquen should be applauded for its brevity.

1972, anyone?

I was six years old, and I was obsessed with Star Trek. My memory is obviously rather vague on some of this, I may have been watching some episodes even earlier,  during 1971 (Star Trek aired on the BBC here in the UK pretty continuously from 1969 to 1973, with further re-runs later that decade) but I know that I was definitely watching it in 1972, if only because I had the Star Trek 1973 Annual as one of my Christmas 1972 presents. Well, I was ‘into’ all things space by then: I remember my the bedroom wallpaper was Apollo-themed imagery: the lunar lander on the moon, the moon rover etc. Yep, six years old and the die was cast, marked for life. My adoration for Star Trek was inevitable: William Shatner is not just an actor to me; he IS Captain Kirk.

We were still sending astronauts to the moon that year. Sounds incredible now, doesn’t it; I was watching Star Trek episodes for the first time and men were walking on the moon on Apollo 16 and 17.  I wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up. I suppose to a kid like me back then, it seemed possible, almost an ordinary job, like being a policeman or a teacher or a plumber. We were going to the moon, surely Mars was next? My favourite episode of the children’s cartoon series Mr Benn was the one when he went into the costume shop and put on a spacesuit; first aired in 1971, it was repeated for the first time in 1972 (episodes were repeated twice a year for two decades!)  and I would always watch the show hoping he’d pick that spacesuit again (crushed disappointment when he didn’t).

Receiving Star Trek Annuals for Christmas became a regular thing: I’d have the remaining Annuals each year, 1974 through to 1977. The tradition was myself and my brother Steven would each have some Annuals for Christmas, one of which we’d each get to unwrap as an early Christmas present on Christmas Eve… maybe to temper our rising pre-Christmas Day excitement to make my parent’s lives a little easier. My Christmas Eve treat was always that year’s Star Trek Annual (I think Steven’s was the Tom & Jerry Annual). The Star Trek Annuals obviously capitalised on the popular run of the show on the BBC,  reprinting three issues of the Gold Key comicbooks (originally printed in the USA from 1967 onwards.) I didn’t know any of that Gold Key stuff at the time, I always assumed they were new comics made just for the annuals, nor that there had actually been Star Trek Annuals for 1970, 1971 and 1972 beforehand. Curious to think that while Star Trek was ‘new’ here in the UK it was old history in the States, cancelled and done. Films and television shows had longer lifespans back then if only because they took longer to cross the pond and reach the rest of the world- not like these days with global launches. The world was a bigger place back then. Maybe infinite to a six year old.

You cannot imagine how thrilling just the cover of that 1973 annual was, the Enterprise, the alien planet with the shuttle on the surface. Living here in the Midlands in the UK during the early 1970s, Star Trek really was something special, so exciting- sure, it was from Hollywood, USA, but it might as well have been from another planet entirely for a young kid growing up here. I wonder if some of its appeal of those annuals were the bright colours- our television back then was ‘only’ black and white so when watching the tv show I was ignorant of all those bright colourful uniforms, sets etc. that burst into life in the comic strip.

Thanks to the research done by more committed Trekkies than I,  I’ve seen the transmission records for Star Trek on the BBC and its really odd how they did it, showing episodes in haphazard order- I appreciate there was no genuine continuity in Star Trek, it was from a time of episodic television, in which episodes generally hit the ‘reset’ button they ended, but it does seem curious how the BBC scheduled them. By 1972, the show had already been aired in its entirety and was now being repeated, albeit they were all new to me, unless I had indeed watched some the year before. But looking at it now- they repeated the season one finale, The City on the Edge of Forever, before the midseason Menagerie parts one and two which themselves aired before ‘proper’ season one opener The Man Trap. Its enough to make any Trekkie dizzy looking at it these days, but what six year-old kid cared about any of that?

I note on the transmission record that The Menagerie parts One and Two aired on 26th January and 2nd February 1972, actually  a few weeks before my birthday, so I was still just five, but I guess I must have seen them then because those particular episodes (like the scarier eps of Dr. Who) made such a mark on me (and wouldn’t be aired again until November 1973). I remember being scared witless by the Talosians, they haunted me for some time- maybe it was Alexander Courage’s eerie music that freaked me out so much. Its funny how you never really shake off those impressions from watching stuff at an early age. The Menagerie Parts One and Two remain two of my favourite Trek episodes (in fact I watched them again only a few nights ago) and whenever I watch them I always get creeped-out, as if that five-year-old kid buried in my subconscious relives those old shivers of fear. Likewise whenever I hear the music on that soundtrack boxset I have on disc it gets a tingle down my spine.  

Its those core impressions running deep. Just like when I rewatch Jaws, having been scared witless by it when I watched it in the cinema in 1976. You never forget that feeling and it lives on whenever you revisit it. Well, for me anyway. Maybe everyone else grows out of it, ha ha.

On the subject of films, Clapperboard started in April 1972, a children’s show about cinema hosted by Chris Kelly –  the ‘seventies really was some kind of Golden Age for Children’s television. When I got older I’d rush home from school to catch it (it aired on Mondays, at 4..25)  and it was no doubt a formative experience that instilled in me the seeds of my love of film. It was really quite intelligent and in-depth considering it was a ‘children’s show’ – back then such programmes didn’t talk down to the audience, and Chris Kelly was a great presenter. Two episodes about Space: 1999 in 1975 were especially interesting (I particularly enjoyed episodes looking at visual effects) and were included as a special feature in Network’s Space: 1999 Blu-ray set of season one. I wonder if Granada have many Clapperboard episodes on tape in the archive? You’d think they would have some value as an historical record, with regards its interviews over the years, if nothing else . I suppose Clapperboard was in some ways a children’s alternative to the BBC’s Film…. show which started its own run presented by Barry Norman in 1972 with, yes, Film 1972 (it changed its title with every year, and ran for over forty years, albeit it was never the same once Norman left it).

Other television shows that started in 1972  were Record Breakers with the great Roy Castle presenting, and the lunchtime mainstay Rainbow (although on that school lunchtime front, I much preferred Pipkins, which started the following year). Also 1972 saw the start of Sykes, the Eric Sykes sitcom that’s a cheeky favourite of mine. I think Eric Sykes was a really funny adult to us kids, he was great at physical humour, exaggerated expressions etc. I bought the complete series on DVD a few years back. Sykes was basically a colour remake (or reboot?) of his hit sixties comedy series, and used the same scripts,  and has dated a lot but remains great fun- a nostalgia trap, certainly. But then again, for those of us who lived it, I suppose everything from the 1970s is a nostalgia trap. Okay, maybe not those Donny Osmond singles. But I do still rather like the New Seeker’s “I’d Like to Teach the World To Sing (in Perfect Harmony),” a song I remember well from the Coca Cola ad of the time, albeit that used different singers.

But here’s a curious thought: we had astronauts on the moon, and we were (in the UK, anyway) four years away from Jaws, six years away from Star Wars, and ten years away from Blade Runner. It was all coming.

But not the astronauts on Mars, or me becoming an astronaut. Mr Benn got nearer to that dream than I.