And later, Troy

troyHa ha, this one’s more terrible than I remember, even here in its apparently ‘definitive’ Directors Cut. Its almost as much a farce as Life of Brian, it is so over-sincere in its attempt to make something Shakespearean of the hammy dialogue, wooden acting (and I’m not talking about that horse) and the ‘what-were-they-thinking’ casting which makes some of Oliver Stone’s casting decisions for Alexander look absolutely inspired.

The film was obviously in trouble when the film-makers opted for Hollywood’s usual ‘how do we fix this?’ by ditching the original score by Gabriel Yared, and then hiring James Horner to write a whole-new score, giving him just four weeks. Horner demonstrated his professionalism by somehow writing and recording a serviceable score but its clear he had little time and likely little enthusiasm for the project (I always thought Horner preferred character-based, intimate dramas and wrote better scores for such films). He must have known Troy was in trouble and that his music could never be good enough to fix it in what time he had. The irony that studios think replacement scores can somehow fix broken films when studios otherwise seem to have such little appreciation for film scoring never ceases to amaze me. Yared apparently spent over a year on his score- I heard it years ago on a bootleg and it shows that he was invested in it; it’s quite sophisticated and rather better than Horner’s effort (to be fair to Horner, had he been given a year his score would have been much better too).I would love to watch Troy with Yared’s original score but that will never happen.

To be fair to the film, its clear it was made with the best of intentions and certainly has some obvious ambition; at times it looks quite spectacular but the whole thing is undermined by its fumbling script which has all the beats of the familiar story but saddles them with hokey speeches and one-dimensional characters that leave the actors with nothing to play off. Diane Kruger’s Helen is the weakest point of the film and yet she’s supposed to be its backbone, the narrative drive behind everything that happens- she has no charisma, no character, but its hardly Kruger’s fault. She’s a much better actress than this but even she cannot feign chemistry with the quite vapid Orlando Bloom playing Paris. Brad Pitt’s Achilles makes a game attempt at saving the film (it should have been his film, its clear) but even his frowns and sulks are of insufficient weight to bring the pathos this film needs. I remain quite sympathetic for Eric Bana, he’s the best thing in this quite disastrous film.

Returning to the music score, perhaps the film would have been better served had it been given Eric Idle’s “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” at the end as we see Troy burning. At least the film might have then been saying something, if only about a better movie.