Re-discovering The Chosen One

stdHere we go again folks, with another season of Star Trek: Discovery, the lamentable Trek series that has alienated franchise fans possibly even more than The Last Jedi did Star Wars fans. So here we go. 

Michael Burnham is The Chosen One. She literally saved all life in the Galaxy (hallelujah baby) from an AI menace in season two that threatened to wipe out all organic life or some such nonsense (not the same AI menace that menaced humanity in Star Trek: Picard earlier this year but hey, the future seems to be rather troubled by wannabe Skynet’s). The Chosen One has now been thrown nearly 800 years into the future because she’s now The Chosen One to save the Federation after its, er, fallen apart in the intervening years thanks to some  preposterous ‘burn’ nonsense that nuked all its starships instantly.

Remember, this Chosen One saved all life in the galaxy before Kirk came around and took the limelight, but is curiously  a character who nobody ever heard of in all the Star Trek‘s ever made or written. The fact that she’s also the half-sister of Spock, who Spock never mentioned in all those years he featured in the various Trek incarnations…well, you’ll possibly see my problem. Its like the next Star Wars movie suddenly revealing that  Padmé Amidala (what do you mean, ‘who?’) actually had triplets not twins and that Luke and Leia had a sister called Lucy and thus we can benefit from yet another Skywalker Saga (Disney call my agent, ‘cos I’m copyrighting that goldmine of imagination).

I know, I know, I can positively see you rolling your eyes. Reading someone moaning about continuity or mythology of a genre show can be pretty tiresome, specially as regards a franchise as long-running as Star Trek or, say, something like Dr Who. Its a hopeless task I suppose, and I’m certain most fans of any particular franchise would allow some leeway, but if you’re going to do something Trek, you should at least sow some indication of actually trying. The guys behind Discovery seem hellbent on alienating what would traditionally be expected to be its core audience, which has always seemed odd, but maybe that’s just something borne of laziness. But nonetheless, at least treat it with some respect.

 The people behind Discovery really don’t respect its core franchise fanbase. I really don’t think they consider them at all, in all honesty.

So anyway, what’s The Chosen One been up to? Well, she’s fallen out of a Wormhole into The Future in her Iron Man suit, sorry, Time Travel suit and she just happens to have arrived near a planet (which is handy, because space is, like, 99.9% empty space and is mostly the void between stars so, you know, better near a planet than middle of nowhere without a space ship, what are the odds?) and hey, talking about space ships, there’s a space battle that just happens to be going on between two ships and The Chosen One crashes into the one being chased and -bang- she wrecks it but naturally her Iron Man suit, sorry, Time Travel suit is built to withstand massive space collisions even if space ships aren’t (the poor bastard crashes to the surface totally buggered) and not only that, but its also built to survive high-g re-entry into a planets atmosphere and, yes indeedy, a crash-landing at those incredible velocities into solid ground with the wearer hardly suffering a, er, achy achy back. Its like the goddam show is daring you to throw the remote at the screen and kill your telly.

std2Oh sod it that’s enough already. I can’t be bothered with the rest, especially the prologue that ripped off the opening of the BSG reboot,  with an amateur Federation wannabe spending 40 years -40 goddam years!- like some moron going to the office every goddam morning without a day off waiting for someone to walk in and save the Federation. Yeah guess who’s that someone. Go on, have a guess.

I’ll see you after episode Two.

7 thoughts on “Re-discovering The Chosen One

  1. For decades I put Star Trek and Star Wars on equal footing in greatness. Both very different creatures but they were the best of what they were. With crap like you mentioned above Star Wars is now the best in my opinion and that is after the disjointed sequels.

    She is way too significant in her own show to have gone completely unreferenced in ANY form. Current Trek is made by people that prefer Star Wars over Star Trek and want Star Trek to be Star Wars without understanding they are two very different creatures. This lack of understanding is turning the deeper of the two into something less.

    1. Yeah its is so incredibly nonsensical and bordering on insulting, how they continue to ramp up the importance of Burnham and yet maintain her secrecy, the idiocy that its as if she never existed in any Trek made/seen before. Hell, even Kirk never saved the universe. The fact that she is such a non-character, such a zero-charisma, zero-humanity figure so dearly loved all of a sudden by her crew, and how every important event just seems to ‘happen’ around her, just exemplifies the ‘quality’ of so much genre writing now. I thought Disney Star Wars would take some beating for bad writing and terrible internal logic etc but its being comfortably beaten by modern Trek. I watch ST:D and feel like someone is taking me for an idiot, and maybe I am, since I’m still watching it albeit out of some morbid fascination with the death-throes of a once important franchise. I suppose classic Dr Who fans feel the same way watching modern Who,

      1. You have said pretty much what I think. They are not taking you for an idiot but rather aiming for MCU-type fans that will shell out big bucks for repeated viewings and special releases but have forgotten or never noticed those fans already exist in Star Trek. The thing is those fans are a much smaller group numerically than in Star Trek so they must be disregarded in order to draw in the MCU style ones. I think that is a mistake because only one group has kept it alive for over fifty years.

        Some people consider Kirk “problematic” by modern standards but those people are only aware of characteristics that have been fondly and jokingly referenced by longtime fans. I think Burnham is an attempt to replace Kirk with something more acceptable to them.

    1. Sheer morbid curiosity and possibly deep-seated self-loathing. Could keep a psychoanalyst busy no doubt. This show is so bad its almost hypnotic. I have mentioned before that to appreciate the really good stuff, its worth seeing the really bad, just for perspective if nothing else. I just get such a deeper appreciation for what Roddenberry and Gene L Coon did in the 1960s. In many ways the show typifies the ‘enlightened’ atitudes of today but exaggerates them too much- you’d certainly never get a raging male ego like how Kirk was, in a modern show, but at least he had physicality, and character. They keep on showing small slightly-built women beating the crap out of big guys twice their size, its quite funny the liberties they feel the need to take to perpetuate agendas. Burnham literally falls out of space and crashes into the ground at terminal velocity (digging herself out of the dirt) without hardly a mark, barring that sideways nod to backache that is soon forgotten, and immediately is beating up the guy from the ship she wrecked in the collision, and then being chased in gunfights etc. Its a universe of agendas and no consequences. Absolutely no consequences, losing any possibility of drama.

      I give it a few more weeks and I’m sure to reach my limit.

  2. Matthew McKinnon

    I just watched the first episode.
    It was curious that the show decided to go with a Burnham solo adventure to kick things off, given that she’s the dullest character by far: the absence of her extremely likeable colleagues made this a real chore to sit through. I won’t be watching any more: this year has taught me life is too short.

    1. Yeah I think 2021 will see me being much more selective what I watch. Indeed, as I have mentioned before, I think I’ll change my blog a little next year, concentrate on maybe re-watching some higher-quality stuff, revisiting more of my favourites and maybe writing about why they are my favourites, or what I like about lesser-regarded old films. I figure if I manage to hit or pass the Big 200 that will be time to go on hiatus regards all the new crap I suffer through. I could write some more detailed, in-depth explorations into stuff that I like, I think I’d like that. I’m mulling over options but I’m damn sure ST: Discovery won’t be on the list.

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