The Last Skywalker?

Woke up this morning to some demented fool babbling hysterically about some new Star Wars trailer- someone who, it became clear minutes later, has never seen a Star Wars film. Well, that’s how researched and balanced British journalism is these days. One of her colleagues admitted to watching all the Star Wars films for the first time a few months ago over a weekend. “I should try that,” the first fool decided before waxing lyrical over how great this film looked.

Well there’s worse ways to wake up in a morning, certainly, but my mood was certainly darkened. Stifling the urge to throw the radio across the room I decided the ‘off’ button would be the smarter move, and then reached across for my phone, found a video link on YouTube and watched the trailer: best get it out of the way and done, I reasoned. Afterwards, surely, my day could only get better.

(It didn’t, as it turned out, because work was a bad day, but that’s another story…).

I watched the trailer. Sighed. The following video was one of those agonising Reaction Videos (‘watch us watching the new Star Wars Trailer!’). Its a wonder I bothered getting out of bed at all, the bloody world has gone mad. So we watch people watching film trailers now. “Its so EPIC!” some bearded moron gushed, his eyes lit up like a six year-old at Christmas. I switched it off. Turned out watching the trailer had been a mistake. Some mornings its best not to engage with the world, at least not until a strong coffee has been imbued and I can handle the insanity.

Don’t. Believe. The. Hype.

People have very short memories. May I point everyone towards Godzilla: KIng of the Monsters? Anyone care to remember that bloody brilliant trailer that looked like the film was going to be amazing, with a big operatic version of Clair de Lune playing over intensely impressive and emotive visuals? Anybody unfortunate enough to have seen that film (myself only recently, which is why I raise this as a pertinent example) will know the truth and appreciate that Hollywood knows all too well how to sell a turd.

5 thoughts on “The Last Skywalker?

  1. Matthew McKinnon

    I mean. There’s always been great trailers for bad movies. I remember how awesome Backdraft looked in the trailer, and how terrible it was. See also: Prometheus, Man of Steel etc.

    TROS will certainly be a disappointing and shallow movie, but it does definitely look epic in this trailer. And you’ll be there watching it this Christmas.

  2. Unless something marvellous dispels my genuine apathy towards all things Disney Star Wars, I really don’t think I’ll be bothering, which as a Star Wars fan since 1978 should say something to Disney. At this point bemoaning anything about JJ Abrams or that fool Rian Johnson is pointless and given the state of the franchise it’d be hard for this third film to be any worse. But bringing back Palpatine? Ugh, cynical in the extreme. Besides which, it pretty much undermines the character arc of Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader over two trilogies and his path to redemption and saving Luke.What was the point if the old cackler comes back from the dead anyway? And didn’t pretty much everything of the Death Star get vaporised in that explosion? Apparently not, as the Throne Room looks to be in pretty good shape all things considered.

    Oh well. At least Rey will be around to save the day (again).

    1. Matthew McKinnon

      Ghost: you bought TLJ on 4K, even after you spent eight posts tearing strips off it.

      You’ll be there watching this.

  3. Hey, I bought it on Blu-ray, I didn’t get the 4K, and I thought we’d all agreed to keep silent my fall from grace which was buying that horrible little coaster.

    Regards this new film… even I’m surprised at my absolute lack of excitement. Those Disney marketing boys really need to try harder to get me worked up for it.

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