Skyscraper

There’s one thing you should know first… I’m behind you!

sky1The image above is pretty much everything you need to know about Skyscraper. If you’re thinking, “wow, that looks cool!” then yes, this film is for you. If you’re thinking, “wtf?” then do yourself a favour and never let this film anywhere near you, because preposterous eye-candy is the least of this films problems.

I’m sitting here struggling to write anything about this. I guess it’s the blogging equivalent of being rendered speechless. I do think I’ve seen more than my fair share of bad films lately. This one may not be the worst but… I mean why even bother spending my time writing anything about this? Its your typical overblown action extravaganza with a derivative plot and very unimaginative casting, it’s just laziness to the extreme.

For example, at the very start of the film, Will Ford (Dwayne Johnson), leader of some hotshot FBI hostage rescue squad, is involved in a hostage situation in rural America that goes horribly wrong with the deaths of a family, including children, and some of his own team. Its inevitable, right from those opening minutes, that the end of the film will feature a reprise of that hostage situation but now involving one of his own kids. Can he learn from the mistakes of the past and shake off all the guilt he has carried with him for the years after? Take a guess.

Its inevitable, right from a little later on when he instructs his wife that the best way to fix anything, particularly her mobile phone, is to switch it off then back on again, that when near the end of the film the authorities are perplexed at how to fix the fiery buildings fire defense systems, she steps up with the suggestion to switch it off then on again, thus rebooting the system.

Yes, it’s that kind of movie.

Infact, I’ll be as lazy as this movie is, by simply stating that Skyscraper is Die Hard by way of The Towering Inferno with a bit of Cliffhanger thrown in (all three much better movies) and they even sneak in a bit of Total Recall that cues the misdirection signalled by the quote headlining this post (and possibly facepalm moment of the year). And if I dare suggest it is extra cynical by being set in Hong Kong with a mostly Asian cast in an effort to break the Asian market and all its foreign money, how far wrong could I be? Well, domestic US box office was $68 million, foreign box office totaled $236 million. Welcome to the future: Universal Pictures China is possibly as inevitable as all the telegraphing this film engineers in its hokey script.

 

One thought on “Skyscraper

  1. Pingback: The 2019 List: June – the ghost of 82

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