London Has Fallen (2016)

lf12016.81: London Has Fallen (DVD)

“Whats wrong?” 

“Nothing. Bugs the shit out of me.”

“Fuck. They’re not real cops.”

“God damn it, Mike.”

“Fuck. Comms are down.”

“How bad is it?”

“Its pretty goddam bad, sir.”

“Its a fucking bloodbath. How did they do it, Mike?”

“They only have to get it right once. Today they got it right way more than that.”

“I never thought you would outlive me.”

“Me neither.”

“Do me a favour? Stay alive. You gotta see your kid. Make the fuckers pay.”

“I will.”

“Aamir Barkawi. This man is responsible for more deaths than the plague.”

“I’ve never seen a man suffocate before.”

“I didn’t have a knife.”

“How many you think died?”

“I don’t know. A lot.”

“All those innocent people. Dead. Because of me.”

“No, not because of you. Because of them. They’re trying to kill you, sir. And they’ve killed all of those people just to make everyone else a little more afraid. Well, fuck that and fuck them!”

“What if you don’t come back?”

“You’re fucked!”

“Where we going next, Mike?”

“Embassy.”

“Embassy? You said they’re expecting that.”

“They are. But we are shit out of options.”

“Central London. Right under our bloody noses. Tell SAS that we’re gonna make a house call.”

“Look, we can’t let you come with us, mate.”

“How many times have you saved this man’s ass? Now, I’m gonna go get him, and you can either kill me, or you can come with me, but it ain’t gonna go any other way.”

“You don’t understand. Its their base of operations. There are nearly a hundred terrorists in there.”

“Yeah? Well, they should have brought more men.”

“Things are going to get sporty. Watch your balls.”

“Are you fucking crazy?”

“Yeah. Wish me luck.”

“I won’t justify your insanity to make you feel better about yourself.”

I don’t know if this film has the worst dialogue of any film I have ever seen, or if its deliriously brilliant action movie gibberish. Either the film is the worst thing I have seen in weeks, or the towering summation of where the action movie has been going for the past decade. Or maybe both. I don’t know. I’m frankly in a daze. Astonishingly stupid nonsense.

Then again, in the real world we are currently facing an imminent election between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, and one of those two is soon going to be the president of the United States. No wonder people enjoy the comparative safety and reassurance of films like Olympus Has Fallen and London Has Fallen. At least in the movies, the president is an honest heroic good guy with principles who is handsome, handy with a machine gun and not averse to shooting the bad guys himself. People enjoy the fairy tale more, I think. No wonder a third film in this franchise is in the offing.

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2 thoughts on “London Has Fallen (2016)

    1. I really couldnt believe it. All that dialogue is genuine by the way. Even watching the movie I was taken aback by it- I went back and rewatched it jotting down the dialogue figuring it kinda wrote the review for me. Its such a bizarre movie. I’m almost looking foward to the third one out of sheer morbid curiosity. How can it possibly ‘top’ this one?

      What a bad year for movies. Shame, it started so well with The Revenant…

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